I'm So F**king Pissed

I'm freaking raging I need to pull up my couch so y'all need to take notes and occasionally ask; "How does that make you feel?" or whatever.

I'm ill right now, I'm stressed too, and everyone is fu**ing taking the piss. Like I'm some road you can just be driving over whenever the f**k you want.

I have a friend who has been staying at my house for the past 4 MONTHS. To be fair I did tell her she can stay as long as she needed but SERIOUSLY?!?! Last month I was like look you need to move, she was like I will be out in the next week. She gave herself the deadline, not me. I as like is that enough time? She's looking all worried and whatnot and says she will sort it. I say look I can't handle this conversation and I bounce. In DAYS she found a house. IF IT WAS THAT FU**ING EASY WHY DID IT TAKE 4 MONTHS OF MY TIME OF SLEEPING IN MY BED WHILE I'M AT MY MAN'S HOUSE OR MY HOUSEMATES ROOM! WHERE THE F*CK IS THE FAIRNESS IN THAT?!?! WHERE'S THE GOSHDARN COURTESY?!?! OR EMPATHY?!?! I OBVIOUSLY AM NOT LIVING WITH MY MAN FOR A REASON. IF I WANTED TO I WOULDA DONE IT MYSELF... Then two weeks are up she's like I'll be out by this weekend (last week), I'm like fine, I will wait because they're painting her room and I don't want this chick to die of fumes. Weekend comes and goes and now they're changing her windows so she can't bounce till Thursday (yesterday). Yesterday comes and goes and SHE STILL HAS MY HOUSE KEYS, WHY AM I THE ONE CALLING PEOPLE TO ASK IF THEY'RE HOME. SURELY YOU WOULD THINK "HEY! THIS AIN'T RIGHT!" BUT NOOOOO YOU DON'T! And all this time I'm feeling like shit because who wants to throw a friend out? But at the same time she's a GROWN ASS WOMAN OLDER THAN MYSELF AND A GRADUATE WITH A FREAKIN DEGREE. YOU SHOULD BE TAKING CARE OF ME. So I got my girl telling me you need to be harsh or she'll be there all year. I send a text like mate you need to be out by today, as in yes TODAY. Fu**ing pissing myself because I don't want to hurt feelings and I don't like confrontation, and I get a text back like yes I owe you so much blah, blah, blah thanks for everything... I'm like WHAT THE FU**. I've been killing myself over this and you just like ok yeah... Oh and now they changing her carpet by the way... WHAT IS TAKING THEM SO LONG TO SORT OUT ONE ROOM?!?! I'm like carpet or no carpet you got to go. TODAY. I hate to do it but 4 MONTHS I been living out of everyone else's room. Walking down the street everyday feeling like some cheap slut to get to my house and have to knock ON MY OWN DOOR while she in my bed still SLEEPING. I'm having to find places to change 'cuz when I'm getting ready for class she STILL SLEEPING.

On the other hand my man pissing me off. I'm fu**ing feeling like shit but our friend comes by and I'm laughing and shit because she gives everybody jokes. Does that mean I was faking illness?!?! They made a joke about it and I laughed but soon as she left he gone upstairs to play Wii. I'm like WOW, you can't even check see if I'm ok, offer me something to eat like I ALWAYS DO WHEN YOU'RE SICK, UPSET, OR JUST IN GENERAL. Don't get me wrong he can be very supportive but he was all like I wasn't in the best moods today. Well when the tables are turned I fuc**ng but my bad mood aside to make sure you're ok WHY THE FU** COULDN'T YO DO THAT FOR ME?!?! Gosh I'm not asking for like a bunch of flowers or candy, or retail therapy I'm just asking you put your game down once in a while and keep me company or SOMETHING. TEXT ME FROM UPSTAIRS IF YOU LIKE BUT WOW. And the most annoying thing is I can't even go back to MY ROOM 'CUZ OF THE ABOVE. I felt like some trapped chick. He didn't even say nothing this morning to me like what's up, let's talk this shit out, or I'm sorry you felt that way even if I (me) was wrong... I'm just tired of all these people who supposed to be there for me when I need them always too fu**ing busy but when it's their turn it's "Therapy please this, Therapy that..." What the f*ck ever!

Then we have these girls from my old school who are doing a talent show. They needed me to mix their tracks for them. THEN WHY THE FU** DID YOU ASK ME THIS ON WEDNESDAY WHEN YOU NEED IT TODAY. DON'T TELL ME YOU LEARNT YOUR DANCE IN TWO DAYS SO YOU DIDN'T KNOW. I'M NOT SITTING THE FU** AROUND WAITING TO DO PEOPLE FAVOURS. I DO GO TO SCHOOL AND I AM BUSY... GOSHDARN (This and the previous swears because I can't take God's name in vain...) IT! WTF?!?! No I'm ill what you going to do?!?! Because I'm NOT going to Uni or your school to mix it for you when I'M ILL. I said email it to me I can send it to a mate maybe, oh you can't email during school time? Find a teacher and ask it is a school talent show after all... Did I get an email yet? NO I DIDN'T. When is their talent show? 5PM TONIGHT. Who's fault is it? YEAH THAT'S RIGHT THEIRS NOT MINE. I'm so sick of feeling bad when I can't help you out, WHO THE F**K IS HELPING ME OUT?

Oh and then we have the president of the society I'm in. We had a coursework group assignment we had planned to meet and do on Wednesday with 2 other people. WHAT DOES HE GO AND DO? HE FU**ING ORGANISES THE SOCIETY MEETING AT THE SAME TIME. AND GUESS WHAT ELSE? HE FU**ING CHOOSES THE SOCIETY MEETING OVER THE COURSEWORK. And has the AUDACITY to say I will try and balance the two. ON TOP OF THAT he wasn't even ORIGINALLY IN OUR GROUP. He added himself like 3-4 weeks later when EVERYONE ELSE ALREADY HAD A NICE GROUP BECAUSE HIS ASS WASN'T ORGANISED ENOUGH THOUGH HE HAD TIME TO CAMPAIGN TO BE OUR STUDENT UNION PRESIDENT FOR 4 WEEKS STRAIGHT. He was also my coursework partner last semester and I decided never again, but then yup! He went and asked SOMEONE ELSE IN MY GROUP, not me 'cuz I'm sure he knows better and BAM THE DUDE IS IN OUR FU**ING GROUP. Last semester he got a retake for our group work and I got an F. WHERE IS THE FUC**NG JUSTICE IN THAT. Oh it's this. If you retake you can only get 40% max. but starting again you can get as high as you deserve.

OH NO MY WEEK AIN'T OVER YET. My friend up and tells me she has to go home early so we can't do whatever together. I get too ill at Uni so I leave early but all of a sudden she has time to go to the lecture of a mutual friend? Where did she get time from the hour before she told me she has no time, to the time she decides she wants to "support me" by going to my lecture like she's trying to convince me? I said I'm going home. Oops my bad my boyfriend's house 'cuz I ain't got a room. Why not transfer that support to taking me home? Did she? Oh oh umm... NO. This is the same mutual friend she backed out of our like 6 months ago arrangement if not more to live with him instead... THANKS HOMIE.

Anyway that has been my week! Loved it... Whatever. So how much will this couch session cost me?